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Everyone has been in the position at one time or another when they royally stuff up and end up disappointing someone that they care about. Forgetting someone’s birthday, especially if it’s that of a close friend or a partner, is one of those things where you weren’t trying to be mean, but you have hurt someone’s feelings all the same. To some people, birthdays are extremely important, so if you missed one, then here are a few ways to start making up for it.

Make a Genuine Apology

The only way you can begin to mend hard feelings is by apologising, and making it genuine. Don’t try to make any excuses like “I was busy at work” or “I had a lot of things on my mind”, as this isn’t a sincere apology. Start by admitting that you made a big mistake and take responsibility for your forgetfulness. You may want to consider apologetic tokens as well, such as flowers, a gift hamper or even a love letter. The most important thing is that you let the person know that you feel terrible and that you want to make it up to them.

Make Up for it Now, Not Next Year

The worst thing you can say is “I’ll make it up to you next year”, especially if it’s to your partner. For most people, that is just unacceptable! If you forgot the birthday of someone who is close to you, the chances are good that it was really hurtful to them. You will have to make it up to them now to show that you are serious – not later.

Go All Out

You have forgotten the birthday, so there’s nothing you can do about it now besides work really hard to make things right. Ask your partner or friend what you can do to make it right, and then be sure to do whatever it is they want. You will have to do something that is ten times better that what you normally would have done for their birthday, so start planning! For your partner, spare no expense. Take them out somewhere fancy for dinner, and hit the town to partake in activities that they like to do – even if it’s something you don’t like – so that you can prove that you’re serious about making amends. Try not to make the activities birthday-related, because you missed the boat on that one already. Instead, make the celebration a special peace offering rather than a lame attempt to pretend the birthday was still a success.

Continue Surprising Them

Forgotten birthdays become water under the bridge eventually – or do they? Most people will forgive you for the indiscretion, but very few people will forget. So even if things are better with your partner or friend after you apologised for missing their big day, the issue could still be brought up again next year! To avoid the inevitable teasing a year from now, why not dote them with gifts periodically throughout the year? It may seem like a big effort, but if you can get a laugh out of them once a month for twelve months by giving them gifts, writing them poems and surprising them with impromptu dinners, then they may not harass you about the missed birthday next year.